The Case Of The Missing Cape
by Wannon
Summary: Wannon: *YAOI* Vincent's pretty red cape with the hidden ability to fly is stolen and he wants it back.


Hello! Another story by yours truly! YAY!

This one will be a kinda sequel to 'Rufus gives in'…okay? Jolly good.I think Rufus and Cloud make a perfect couple.Cos' after all, worst enemies can actually mistake hate for love…I think it's probably happened to quite a few people…and Rufus and Cloud never really wanted to fight each other, they were just professionals on opposite sides, and were just doing their job.

Anyway…review! It only takes a second or two, and helps me to write better fanfics!…please review? Please? I'll be **eternally thankful!**

~ Wannon-chan ~

There is some quite obviously implied homosexual action in this fic.Nothing at all citrussy but if two guys loving each other ain't your cup o' tea then I wouldn't recommend this fic.Otherwise enjoy, reviews are oh-so-welcome but flames are…mean…

~Smeegee-chan~

Cloud and Rufus were out riding their Gold Chocobos.

"WHEE!" Cloud yelled as they sped along, side by side.

"You really enjoy this, don't you?" Rufus asked his ecstatic lover.Cloud nodded furiously.

"IT'S SO FUN!" he yelled.Rufus rolled his eyes.He loved Cloud, very much, but sometimes he could be a little immature.But he couldn't help laughing as Cloud raced his Chocobo in circles, making the poor thing dizzy.It collapsed in a heap on the ground, sending Cloud flying face first into the grass.Rufus stopped and leapt gracefully off his Chocobo, to land next to the crumpled form of his spiky-haired boyfriend.

"Ouch" Cloud commented.Rufus knelt down beside him, not caring if he dirtied his white suit.

"Poor baby…" Rufus said, cradling Cloud to his chest, and kissing him softly.

"Whoa…you certainly have come out of your shell…a little while ago, you could only stutter around me" Cloud whispered.Rufus smiled ruefully.

"That was all Wannon's fault…she forced me to admit it, and I was a little shocked, to say the least" he said.

~ Wannon-chan interrupts ~

Wannon: "But you're thankful, aren't you, Rufus?"

Rufus: * Sigh * "Of course I am…"

Wannon: "Good"

Cloud: "We're such good plotters"

Wannon: "I know!"

Rufus: "Wait a second…you were in it too, Cloud?"

Cloud: "Yup! I couldn't stand waiting any longer…I just had to get my hands on you…in more ways than one…"

~ Rufus blushes as Wannon-chan giggles ~

Rufus: "Cloud…not in front of other people!"

Wannon: "I don't mind"

Cloud: "Me neither"

Rufus: "I mind! I'm…not really a very open person…"

Cloud: "Could have fooled me…"

Rufus: "CLOUD!"

Wannon: "Tee-hee…you two are so cute!"

~ Wannon-chan smothers Cloud and Rufus with hugs, cooing as she does so ~

Cloud: "Yeah…we are pretty cute"

Rufus: "Can't…breathe…"

Wannon: "Oh! Sorry, Rufus!"

~ Wannon lets go ~

Wannon: "Continue on your merry way now"

As Rufus was helping Cloud to his feet, a flying orange beast swooped down in front of them.

"Hey guys! Look! I can fly!!" Nanaki exclaimed.Rufus and Cloud looked at Nanaki.He was wearing a red cape, almost an exact replica of Vincent's…

"Nanaki…is that Vincent's cape?" Cloud asked.Nanaki grinned.

"Maybe…" he replied.

"Does he know you have it?" Rufus asked.

"Hehe, nope…" Nanaki said goofily."But I'll give it back…it's just so much easier to catch Chocobos in the air…you swoop down and-"

"DON'T! I DON'T WANNA KNOW!" Cloud yelled.Cloud loved Chocobos.So did Nanaki…but in a completely different way…

~ Nanaki interrupts ~

Nanaki: "You're making me seem sick!!"

Wannon: "Get your mind outa the gutter!"

Nanaki: * Weakly * "It's not…"

Wannon: "Ha! I knew it! Got ya!"

Nanaki: "Shutup…"

Cloud dived at Nanaki, tearing the cape from around his neck.

"HA! IT'S MY CAPE NOW!" he yelled.Rufus let out a squeal of joy, and leapt into Cloud's arms.

"Ooohhh, take me flying!" he exclaimed, tying the cape onto Cloud.Cloud grinned and flew off into the air, leaving Nanaki alone with the Chocobos…uh oh.

"CLOUD! NANAKI ATE OUR GOLD CHOCOBOS!!!" Rufus yelled as they sped through the air, doing all sorts of aerobatics.(Don't be so gross)

"Nanaki! Do you know how long it took me to breed those?!" Cloud yelled down at him.Nanaki shrugged as well as a four-legged beast could.

"Sorry…" he said, in a tone that said he was anything but.

"Oh well…we've got this neat cape now…WAHOO!" Cloud whooped, kissing Rufus.

"I like this cape…" Rufus murmured.

~ * ~

Meanwhile, Vincent had just woken up.He yawned and took his daily shower, and went to go get dressed.He opened his closet, and…

"What?! Where's my cape?!" he exclaimed.He received no answer…because he was all alone.

"Oh well…I'll just wear one of my many other red capes with the hidden ability to fly…" he said, pulling out one of his many other red capes with the hidden ability to fly, and putting it on.

"Ahh…better." He said, flying in a loop."I wonder who stole my cape?" he mused, when he saw a trail of Chocobo feathers.

"Aha…" he said.

~ * ~

Cloud and Rufus had been flying a long time…and, well, to tell the truth, they were getting a little sick of it.

"I'm getting sick of this…" Cloud said.Rufus murmured his agreement, almost asleep in Cloud's arms.

"You don't look too sick of it…" Cloud commented, looking at Rufus' grin.

"Would you be happy if you were in my arms like this?" Rufus whispered sleepily.

"I see your point…feeling frisky?" Cloud queried.Rufus perked up.

"You bet…" he said.They landed in a nearby forest, and began to strip each other.The cape was flung a long way…it gracefully floated on the breeze like the Forrest Gump feather…he he, Forrest Gump…

Yuffie found the cape.

"Hey! this looks like Vincent's cape!" she exclaimed."Nyuk nyuk nyuk…maybe I can hold it for ransom…and make him give me his materia…"

But the thought of wearing the bright red cape was too much for Yuffie.She put it on, and felt light as a feather…a Forrest Gump feather, floating on the breeze…STOP IT!

* Note: uh, just wondering how many of you were reminded of the Forrest Gump feather when you see the feather in Final Fantasy VIII…you know, the promo movie for it…with the feather…I think it's in the beginning of the actual game, too.Who knew Rinoa had angel wings printed on her back? I SURE DIDN'T!…sorry *

So Yuffie began flying.She flew for ages, until she found some unsuspecting people walking along._Hehehe…I'll steal their materia and get away scott free! She thought._

(Why is scott free? Did I spell it wrong?)

She swooped down and attempted to steal their materia…but being just lowly citizens, they had none.

"Oh nuts!" she commented.She looked at the cape in disgust."Stupid thing! Fat lot of good you did me!" she exclaimed, removing the cape from around her neck while still in midair.It floated away from her as she plummeted to the ground, screaming all the way.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Yuffie screamed.She hit the ground, and bounced.

"Ooh…bouncy…" she mumbled, as she passed out.The people she had tried to steal from came and stole all her stuff…materia included.

Meanwhile, the cape was still floating…(Yes, you've guessed it…like the Forrest Gump feather!) and it landed in Aeris' flower garden, crumpling the flowers.Reno – (Who had come to trample the flowers while Aeris' back was turned) spotted the cape and let out a whoop of joy.

"Oh yeah! I've always wanted to get me one of these damn things!" he said, snatching it up and wrapping it around his neck.

"Huh?! What the hell?!…hey…I'm flying! Heh…cool" Reno commented, and he flew off to play jokes on people._I'm gonna need some plain yoghurt for this trick…he thought evilly._

Finally, Reno was all set.He had filled up a water gun full of plain yoghurt, and was ready to put his plan into action.He flew to Shinra HQ, and hovered above the door to the outside world, waiting for a passer-by to…pass…beneath him._Yes! Here comes Scarlet! Reno thought with a grin, as the hussy came within striking range.Reno pointed the gun down and fired, sending a small blast of yoghurt onto Scarlet's head.He quickly hid as she looked up in anger._

"EEEK!" Scarlet screamed."OH NO! MY HAIR IS RUINED! WHERE IS THAT VINDICTIVE BIRD?! I'LL KILL IT!" she yelled angrily.Reno snickered._This is so fun! He thought gleefully._

* A few hours later *

Reno had succeeded in hitting the majority of Shinra Inc with his bird-poo gun of doom, and had finally grown tired of it.He flew back to the ground, and removed the cape.

"Don't need you anymore…" he said to the cape.He heard an angry mob behind him, and turned to see…an angry mob behind him.

"THERE HE IS! GET HIM!" the aforementioned angry mob yelled.

"Oh shit!" Reno gasped, dropping the cape as he ran from the mob.

~ * ~

Aeris was walking around, attempting to sell her crushed flowers, but for some strange reason, no-one wanted them…_Reno…I know it was you…she thought._

She spotted a cape on the ground.

"Oh! This looks like Vincent's cape! I had better return it…" she said, as she picked the cape up and went to Tifa's house

Tifa opened the door to see Aeris there, with a red cape.

"Is that Vincent's cape?" she asked.Aeris nodded.

"OOH! GIMME!" Tifa yelled, snatching the cape.

"Tifa, it's not nice to snatch…" Aeris scolded.Tifa poked her tongue out and tied the cape around her neck.

"I don't care!" she said snidely, as she began to float.

"Waagh!" she yelped."Why am I floating?!" 

But Tifa soon realised that she didn't care WHY she was floating, she only cared that she had somehow gained the ability to fly…and she liked it.Aeris shook her head daintily at the scene, as Barret yelled at Tifa to come down.

"Foo'! git yer ass back down here, ya crazy wench!" he yelled.Tifa flipped him off and continued to fly loops around them.

"Ha ha! I can fly!…and more importantly…YOU CAN'T, AERIS!!!" Tifa yelled.Aeris sighed.

"Tifa…you shouldn't really use things without asking first…" she said disdainfully.Tifa shrugged.

"Vincent isn't here to ask! And besides…he'd say yes, I'd just use my feminine wiles on him" she said simply.

"Translated: You gonna flash yer cleavage to the poor devil-man" Barret said.Tifa glared angrily at him, as Aeris bristled.

"Barret…he's not a devil-man! He's a caring human being!" she snapped.

"Fine…whatever you say…he's still a devil-man"

"Hmph!" Aeris said, before turning on her heel and storming off.

"…Good riddance" Tifa said.

"You're coming back down here right now, woman!" Barret yelled, pointing his gun at Tifa, who yelped in surprise and landed, removing the cape.

"Give me that!" he snapped, snatching it from Tifa."We got company coming tonight…go cook dinner!" Barret commanded, and Tifa obliged, shuffling inside slowly.Barret placed the cape on the coat rack, intending to take it to Vincent the next day.

* A few hours later *

Cid arrived at Barret and Tifa's house, and was greeted by the inviting aroma of…

~ Wannon interrupts herself ~

Wannon: "Hmm…what could be cooking?"

~ The Rock enters ~

The Rock: "Pie"

Wannon: "What kinda pie?"

The Rock: "The best kind…Poontang pie!"

Wannon: "EEEYUCKY!! GO AWAY!!!"

The Rock: "Hey, Jabroni…don't you like pie?"

Wannon: "Not poontang pie…ick…"

The Rock: "What is your favourite type of pie?"

Wannon: "A-"

The Rock: "IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR FAVOURITE TYPE OF PIE IS!"

Wannon: "Upstage me in my own fanfic, will you?…you'll pay…"

The Rock: "IT DOESN'T MATTER IF THE ROCK PAYS!"

Wannon: "You're taking this a little too far! Time to leave, my fuzzy-haired friend!"

~ Wannon boots The Rock's bottom…hehehe…~

~ Rocky blasts off ~

Wannon: "Hmm…roast chicken will do"

Cid smelled roast chicken.Roast chicken Cid smelled.The smell was delicious.Delicious was the smell. (I feel like Dr. Seuss) 

"Ah…bloody wonderful" Cid sighed happily, as he knocked on the door.Barret opened it, and smiled.

"Hey, foo' wassup?" he exclaimed.Cid smiled back.

"Hey Barret…smells good" he said.

"You foo'! I know I smell good…it's my new aftershave!"

"Not you, you silly bastard! The food!"

"Oh…well…come in, it's almost ready"

Cid walked in, noticing that Vincent's cape was on the coat rack, and blushed.

"Is Vincent here, too?" he asked.Barret glanced at him.

"No…but his cape is.I gotta give it back to him tomorrow"

"Oh" 

_This is a perfect excuse to see Vincent! I'll return his cape! He thought happily._

"Hey, Barret…I'll return the cape for you"

"Really? Whew…that'd take a load offa my mind" Barret said, as they sat down to eat.

_Perfect…Cid thought._

After they had eaten and made idle chit-chat, Cid gathered up his belongings – and Vincent's cape, and made his way home, full and happy.

~ * ~

Vincent, on the other hand, was having an awful day.His cape was missing, and he was on a wild cape chase.He had begun his search by following a trail of Chocobo feathers, which they led up to a rather fat Nanaki.

"Have you seen my cape, Nanaki?" he asked.Nanaki nodded slowly.

"Yeah, I took it…I was gonna give it back later…but Cloud stole it" he said.Vincent sighed.

"Which way did he go?" he asked.

"Him and Rufus went flying off over in that direction…" Nanaki said vaguely.Vincent flew off in the general direction of Nanaki's gaze.

~ * ~

He arrived at a forest, where he saw Rufus and Cloud snuggled together, asleep.Vincent smiled, and gently tapped Cloud on the shoulder.The small blonde smiled and opened his eyes, jumping slightly at seeing Vincent.

"Hi Vincent…oh, are you looking for your cape?" he asked sweetly.Vincent nodded.

"It's…oh.It's gone!…it must have floated off.I threw it in that direction" he said with a wave of his hand.

"Thankyou…say hi to Rufus for me, when he awakens"

"Will do"

And with that, Vincent left again in search of his missing cape.

~ Vincent interrupts Wannon ~

Vincent: "Wannon, you're the author…who has my cape?"

Wannon: "Can't tell you"

Vincent: "But…wouldn't it be quicker just to tell me?"

Wannon: "Maybe…but where's the fun in that?!"

Vincent: "…"

Wannon: "Oh, come on…it's a surprise!"

Vincent: "…"

Wannon: "STOP IT!!!"

Vincent: "…"

Wannon: "I'm continuing the story now!"

So Vincent flew along.

* Vincent says still *

I said, Vincent flew along!

* Vincent refuses to move *

~ Wannon pauses to berate Vincent ~

Wannon: "Dammit, Vincent! Are you gonna keep being like this?! If you don't hurry up and do as you're told, you'll never find out who has your cape, and I'll just turn my computer off and forget all about you.Which would you prefer?!"

Vincent: "Fine.I'll do it, but I'm not happy about it!"

Wannon: "Good boy!"

Vincent flew along…yes, he did.And as he flew, he saw Yuffie lying unconscious on the ground.He landed lightly beside her, and shook her until she woke up.

"…Vincent?!" she exclaimed."I'm sorry…I lost your cape"

"That's okay…I'll fly along and look for it" he said.Yuffie nodded before falling unconscious again.

Vincent spotted another body a few minutes away, and recognised it as the body of Reno.Vincent laughed, and landed by him.

"Well? Have you seen my cape?" he asked the red-headed Turk.Reno grinned mischievously.

"Yeah, Vin-man, I saw it! I had me a lotta fun with that cape!…unfortunately, this is the side-effect of it" he said.Vincent sighed slightly.

"Where did _you drop it?" he asked.Reno pointed._

"Back a ways…" he said.Vincent nodded, and flew off again.

~ * ~

"Vincent!" a voice called from below him.He paused and looked down to see Aeris.

"Are you looking for your cape?" she asked.Vincent nodded angrily.

"Tifa has it" she said.

"Thankyou" Vincent called, and flew to Tifa's house.He knocked on the door, and Tifa opened it.

"Hello Tifa…do you have-"

"Your cape? No, Cid took it.Said he was gonna give it to you tomorrow…" she said.Vincent smiled politely, but he was screaming inside.

"Thanks anyway, Tifa" he said.

"Later" she replied, and this time Vincent flew angrily to the house of Cid.(ooh, the house of Cid…sounds all flashy!!)

~ * ~

* At Cid's house *

Cid paced nervously, rehearsing things he could say to the red-eyed beauty.He'd had a crush on Vincent since they had met, and finally decided to do something about it.Just as he thought he had it all worked out in his mind, there was a knock on his door.He flung it open angrily.

"What the fuck do you want?!" he snapped, and blushed when he saw who it was.

"Vincent! I'm so sorry…please, come in" he said.The ebony-haired man strolled in, and sat down on the couch.Cid retrieved his cape, and handed it to him.

"Thankyou Cid" he said, before noticing Cid's hand on his thigh.

"Cid…are you trying to seduce me?" he asked, amused.Cid blushed.

"Uh…yes?"

"Oh, well…seduce away!"

And so Cid did.He was happy.Vincent was happy.Vincent finally had his cape, and now, he wasn't alone.Cid finally had the object of his desire, and now he, too, wasn't alone.They were happy.They had company.Oh, how joyous a day for them both, to be together…

~ Cid and Vincent interrupt Wannon ~

Cid: "Shit, woman…shut up!"

Vincent: "You're going a little overboard"

Wannon: "Sorry"

Uh…well…they lived happily ever after.

The end.

Vincent: "Better"

Wannon: "Aren't you glad you waited for the surprise?!"

Vincent: "I guess so…"

Wannon: "Wahoo…"

The real end.

~Note From smeegee-chan~

Once again wannon writes an oh-so-nifty fic without me * sigh * However, I will claim to be the inspiration behind certain events.I finally converted wannon-chan to the whole Cid/Vincent thing ^.^ * sigh * my work here is done.

~Smeegee-chan disappears in a puff of smoke~ 

Umm...review please? (yeah I know I've disappeared but I had a couple more things to say) wannon-chan will accept any and all request for FF7 or DBZ fics.Be as specific as you want and she'll write straight or yaoi BUT characters will in all probability be vastly OOC and situations tend to become disturbingly AU…anyway… really…requests are good ^.^

~smee-chan actually leaves~


End file.
